apropos of nothing
December 09, 2005
Surreal Christmas Moments
It is Saturday afternoon and I am in an adult toy store. I am perpetually behind schedule and in a rush, and so am not in the fancy nice woman owned sex positive store over in the crunchy liberal part of town where the dildos are vaguely penis shaped but not photo realistic, and you can buy a diva cup or take a seminar on tantric empowerment. Instead, I am in a much closer but slightly seedy, Hawaii 5-O era sex toy shop. It is the sort of place where you can buy a replica of porn star x’s impressive yet scary appendage, double d candles, or penis shaped macaroni.
There are four or five other women in the store and we are politely ignoring each other, silently pretending, when we accidentally make eye contact, that we are in a department store or the yuppie grocery store.
Look, aren’t these cucumbers lovely? Why yes they are. Delightful. You have a nice day. And you, too.
The door opens and a gaggle of child carolers traipse in. A middle aged woman plays guitar and leads them around the store as they sing Feliz Navidad with great jaunty cheer.
We freeze, each holding whatever we are holding, and wishing intensely that we really were in the yuppie grocery store. Or dead. Whichever.
The staff is too stunned to react, and the kids sing and sing and sing.
Children. Singing carols in a sex toy shop.
Feliz Navidad, indeed.
Posted by sasha
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